It's Not the End of the World​.​.​.​Wait, it is?

by Errol Hem

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price




Thank you...yes you, silly


released July 4, 2012

2012 Utopiugly Productions
Written, Produced, Recorded & Mixed by Errol Hem unless otherwise noted




Errol Hem East Moline, Illinois

contact / help

Contact Errol Hem

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Creepin' It Real
I've been anti-socially awkward since I got ahold of the monster
Sober, cautious, plus just totally altered from what the former unconscious encompassed
Haven't had them chopping-up-onion eyes in some time
But along with that my fun level died
The sun is still shining though
I don't know why I bitch and throw piss and moan fits and quit kicking flows with little to no interest or motivation
I've always been so impatient
Emotionally vacant in certain situations related to hope
I changed from what I used to know was true
It flew the coup some time ago
'Cause those (eye)deas just had my mind gripped by the throat
I hide inside my notebook
Fighting to find time to open and devote some minutes to opening my self and sense of soul to it
A bowl of bliss to hold the plips and shifts that hitch me to existence
Flip to pick a suit from 52 decisions
As I slither, creep, crawl
Peek over walls to seek escape
Eden awaits but eagerness drapes the seeds of my fate when I needed the rays to shine the most
Hide the hope until the fever breaks the rope
I need to take a moment
Submerge and wait to breathe till it's safe to float
Drain the boat
Don't let the anchor choke the quest
Daggered anger in my chest as I'm staggering home to rest
Dangling bones and flesh that just drag with each slowing step
Weighed down by fate's gown and a bag of some old regrets
Stagnant and soaking wet
The ocean's breath delivers peace but I'm settled in city streets
Listening to distant rivers weep
Used to play on hills and creeks in the backyard of my mom's home
Now I'm john doe'ing through the city
Still fixing eyes upon the cosmos
Thinking beyond hope to the future
A selfish feature for creatures of predetermined truth
I used to think I was the shit but I realize I'm kind of a piece of one
Speak too much or cheek to tongue
The sequence spun up when leaking lungs
Freeze the sun and keep my love for the place in which my feet have dug
Scrambling 'cross the city like a measly bug
I need a hug
Or at least some months to get my thoughts straight
I lost my faith along with weight for art's sake
A cost, great
Pause, wait
I'm not aiming to play the old placing-the-blame game
But I'm still crawling aimlessly
Waiting to fall face first into a calm space
And I'm stuck at a stalled pace where the walls wait for whispered phrases from withered faces that have kissed the pavement
Making claims in vain and indecision
Painting it within the pits of my soul
With a fistful of wishful thinking
Fishbowl drinking
Sinking into myself
Drowning in pools of selfish thoughts and acts
Helpless to cross the tracks from a faulted path we've all become accustomed to
Rushing to something new without ever truly appreciating what it's done for you
I stumbled through my first couple decades a little too anxious to move anchors without doing anything vaguely major
But patience is such a lovely thing
Take it and tuck it under wing
A comforting reminder of higher subtleties

Pick a bug
Spirit bug
I'm a tiger moth
Flying across the sky with desires to let the light engulf me

A child's thoughts and artful processes can help accomplish lots of possible results and conquer problems
Readopt the honor system
A promise of progress
Instead of cataclysmic nods toward apocalypse
A solemn wish to stop the dominance of politicking obstetricians delivering devil-spawned acknowledgements that render us powerless
Endless encounters with happiness is what we could be having if we'd work together
All of us
But it's obvious to me we'll never see that day
As long as the machines parade our streets, invade our homes and eat our brains
These things that we depend on have evil ways of keeping us at bay and disregarding things that people say
The telecommunication age breakthrough to communication breakdown has us facedown in gadgets hours out of the day now
Voices are stray sounds that paint the town vibrantly
Safe and sound
Making rounds silently
My third eye is weak but I will seek to open it wider than both the other two
Try to approach the sun and moon's shine
In due time
When the energy fields combine
Like a congregation of light and peace helping me be alive
Track Name: Pico de Gaia (Produced by Esse One)
I was born into faith and beliefs that were anchored to me through repetition and fear
Full of anger and grief
FIlling handkerchiefs until I made the decision to veer right to a road I can comfortably travel
No battling uphill with thought of divinity pinning me down
Give me the clouds and green grass
What I see
What I feel
What I live
What I hear
Rhythm in the middle of the ears brings cheer and serenity
Preventing me from being unhinged
In a pinch or emotional ditch, gotta go for the switch
Keep reaching for what the sun gives
Let it in
Mother knows best of provides
So take a deep breath and climb the steep side of a hill that'll lead to the steps in the sky
An exception to time and space
You can find your place in connection with everything else in existence
Helps for the misfits
Melt the wicks to burn bright as haze
Life's a maze and minds enslave us
Blinding sight from what surrounds
Fuck the ground
Touch the clouds
Start a conversation
There's always ice to break
A nice escape from the nights and days of quiet restraint in compliance with fate that's defined by faith in a blinded state of silent debate on what's right and what ain't
Gaia contains the guidance we place in the faceless name of praise
Instead of straying away from change, arrange a strange encounter or display
For today
Never let the next one hold your emotion
Focus on the open road
'Cause in-the-moment's the only reality we know
Clutch it
Hold it
Love it
Know it
Dust it
Mold it
Hone it
Let it grow into a beautiful field
Bearing the fruits and flowers only which you choose to reveal
Keeping bruises concealed can create illusions of real
Suited for beauty or weaponry entities cleverly use for the kill
With heavy confusion and zeal for a truth or a feeling conducive to healing
A movement to betterment
Set it in sediment stone
We will exit alone in conclusion of being.
Whether mutual agreement or not, breath stops in a spot not plotted on the timeline
Time flies
So we keep on shooting for the ceiling if continuing to breathe
There's always new things to achieve
This skin is but an intimate imprisonment of innocence and we are something little but we live as if we don't bleed
Don't die
So I'm swimming in the breeze
Learning how I can appreciate the fact I'm alive
Deviating from the path they prescribe
Fuck a greedy nation running rampant with lies
I gotta steal a vacation to a vast land wide
Take a chance on life
We can dance all night`and plant all day
Work with our hands while we cast away from the master race they keep us running like rats in
What if I dash for the sunny sky passion?
Just keep your sunny side up
Try laughing
Nullify uptight action
Cast it aside like some old pad thai 'cause your soul can fly
Let it rise like bug bite rashes
In love-life fashion
Fastened with tongue-tied fascination traced back to basic pace
'Cause when the days turn to masquerades we stay anxious to mask our plagues
A nascar race, we circle the globe in search of a home
With personal goals to service our merciful souls and give us a purpose to work with over the hurt that emerges to burden the further advancement
Chance it
Take the risk
Make the best of a situation when it take a piss on your face
Make peace and stick with the path
Track Name: Campfire Psalms
Let's go on a camping trip
A journey lit by candlesticks
We'll dance and skip to heaven, hand on fist, before the rapture hits
Slash a wrist or nick a throat
You can take a different road
The wretched path is packed with bastards trapped upon their tippy toes
With finger bones exposed beneath the thinly woven flesh
Stretched to reach relief from seething heat and inner-soul distress
Like the winter woe control that keeps the sinners so repressed
When the teacher preaches exodus we'll split with no regrets
Sing the holy mess on high until the soul's desensitized and lifted up to leave the victims as the only left alive
When you rest your faith in something grossly drenched in lies, you set aside a stable mind to feed a lowly sense of pride
Slowly jeopardizing lives that buy the end of times assessments
Hiding restless in a trench
Designing exits
Quite eccentric, if you ask me, but I'm sure you're not concerned with the beliefs of non-believers
Bet you'd rather watch me burn

When my flesh meets the cooking point
Maybe saving grace can begin
And I'll feel the snakes in my skin quickly chase away the sin so the angels can come in

But even angels can't convince the psychopathic mathematicians not to craft traditions exploiting religious ideals and brash decisions
Passionate prison cells plastered with vivid descriptions of infinite hell and disasters
Written by hands of man to answer the answerless questions and capture riches
Cannibalistic mandibles rip in a ravenous fit of elaborate mischief
Stabbing and twisting the souls of man with extravagant habits of magical interest
Tragic indifference to anyone out of the loop, even many within
The perennial spin cycle, heavy with sin and a welcoming grin for yourself and the kids
Unless you don't fit in the grid developed in the image of Him
Maybe it's Her?
Crazy, absurd to think heavenly power could ever be feminine
'Cause even our dear Mother Earth is raped and beaten and chained by man
The chain of command with its dick in its hand
Spreading disease across the land
A cross
A lamb atop an alter
Slaughtered all in the facade of order
Cloaking the control that's all but forced upon our throats from those who quote their bibles snidely
Demonizing love that they don't understand or realize or recognize as real
Despise and lie to fight for feelings rooted in taught and manicured hatred
We're chasing nature up mountains
They grouch and stand in the basement
Their hands on their faces
Negating change and progression
Just making threats and suggestions dressed as lessons
Blatantly vacant ethics
Blank expressions blanket aggression toward others of different colors, creeds and orientations
Just more of the same shit
A cordially ape shit, morally brainless, agenda-driven sort of vagrance in support of enslavement
Looking forward to waging wars and all sorts of engagements in unadulterated, sub-human degradation in cornered nations
With more deranged, self-important strangers taking reigns and aiming to place us in fabled orchards all in vain

The power is the root of it
Devouring conscience and boosting ignorance, fear and hatred in followers glued to it
Such power abuse
Controlling dead and the living
No separating church and state
They've been in bed since the beginning
Track Name: Right Where We Belong feat. Milky Way
Holding bouquets of unfulfillment still in bloom and consumed with growth
A killer tune filling the room can make moves and a scream can truly soothe the throat
A cruel joke new-spoke spinning just snowballs
Watch it grow or snip the root with a fish hook
wish bone break
Try to twist that fate and maybe kiss the cook
Can i kick it even though i've got a twisted foot from the quest i took and still am on
Hit the books or take quick looks at the slick rhythm of the villain's song
Millions strong
Is it wrong to think a small shift might trick me and kill the calm and disarm inflict harm with wicked tossed sing song fast balls launched at acrylic palms
Every living thing is built with flaws guilts and scars
The point is to stiffen the jaw
Give it your all
Vividly draw your own symphony
Carve it into infinity
Scribble exquisitely on it
And in between the lines and the notes leave quotes of dreams hopes and scenes of growth
It cleans the soul to speak from both points of view
When you're stuck on your toes trying to reach the rope

Might appear to be stuck but i've still got focus
Kaleidoscope vision to foresee the lotus
Can't grow as a person if your head's closed
Won't rip open the envelope licked by the old folks
Joking about the past misfortunes
Scorching every epidermis to the bone
It's a fine line between insanity and humanity when you wanna split the cell and make a clone
You should take all the money that you're wasting and place it in a porcelain bank with a little pig's face
Invest in the idea that this planet's dying
Need to crack gravity and get to space
'Cause in the end we're all humans stuck in a constant rotation of cycled conclusions
No one ever tried to pay attention to the movement
Everyone was too busy letting looks be illusive
Poor excuses to be so blind
To a saint or a savant
We could've been to a place far away that we could live but we ended up lost
Called the wrong shot on the coin toss
Never taught the kids how to read the moss
I swim with the souls of misthoughts at any cost to promote the feelings that i brought

Feeling used up
Wheeling on fumes but i'm used to gassed up attitudes
Flash floods splatter through lattitudes
Glass house shatterproof
Passion for true love has passed
Oh it's sad but true
Gathering bruises and wounds while maneuvering through a sea of blurred faces
Turning away from the worst case visions
A freedom, per-say, when we open the bird cages
With death, flirtatious
Regular basis, taking chances and the hands of strangers
Stand in place or dance with danger
Fate advances
These legs are just snakes that i captured and latched to my skin
So i slither in grass with the wind at my back
Though it feels like an infinite path it'll soon be snatched

(I look away) from the debt and the death that affect every second we breathe
Though they beckon to me
(I look away)
Chewing on the same course day to day the way that the emotions collect on my teeth

And since we can't keep boarded inside dream we'll build a (fortress of pine trees)

To play hide and seek till we find some peace or a piece of grace
My knees have scraped the fragrant blades in the name of faith
Though it changed i remain in touch with mother nature's face
I want to race to the safe embrace of the ancient plains we grazed on gazed at
Lay flat
Let the sun rays blast
Main task: stay on that hard-work-pays-back straight path
Gain tact and a grasp on what it stands for to be self-determined self-assertive well-learned and self-sustained
Health maintained
With our neighbors
No strangers
We will all know each other's names
Share love in the sun and the rain
No mundane one-way ticket to a grave
When the spirit is awakened we will live above labels and pain and shame in rhythmic arrays of energy systems
Twisting in intricate ways
A vivid display
Visiting different plains of existence till the physical hits the hay and withers away

Essence left with death is collected and regained and recycled through the life cycles
Reflected and relayed
Elegant waves existing endlessly
Assembling the framework to everything that is and was and eventually will fade
Track Name: Morning After Pillage
The ping of raindrops knocks gently on the windowpane that hangs above the bed in which her fickle little figure lays
Nimble fingers twitch awake to itch a space of inner leg
The lifting lids bring pixelated visions of infinite disarray
That dissipate in a single wave of fleeting fear and faith
Prepared to be, again
She clears her tearful face
Spirit braced to chase the sacred, vacant dream of clean existence
Seek forgiveness for the demon's given along with the feeding of fixes
The people visit, then exit, with different methods
Keeping hidden or detected in attendance
She reaches for redemption
Ever afflicted with the scars and marks
A landing strip for kisses
Sitting with the stars
Her head up in the clouds
Keeping the past buried within
She carries sin and burdens and bliss throughout the circular twist
Through personal shifts and natural occurrences, she's turned, observed and been through the worst of it

So many surface-splitting surges of worthlessness
She's been searching for tourniquets
Something permanent to bandage the damage and fight the parasites that tear and bite to survive
Inclines to share life with the cherished lights in the sky
She rises up the tides in times of overblown emotion
With overtones of a broken, almost comatose and hopeless sense of loathing
If only she could take it back to the days of complacent lack of waste
Naked space
Fade to black

But wait, she's back to crack the dawn
Fashion songs of natural cause attached to calm atmosphere and a dash of awe
To mask the flaws she's acquired over centuries
Providing her own necessities prior to knowing treachery and violent, probing wretches depleting bio-expression she's presented so heavenly from divided coasts to separate seas
High hopes and severed seems that lie with broken evergreens
A choked up rising ocean, but no lifeboat could set her free
Crying 'open sesame' with tightrope trajectory
Slowly exposing ghosts on the climb toward total entropy
Eventually ending the nose to grindstone connect
And yet she still sees her destiny with the sky eloped in ecstasy
Universal energy sent, received and recycled
A second is just a breath and an exit is an arrival
Pessimistic survival mode
Trying so hard to yield and provide while shielding her eyes from the disease in disguise
Keeping her tied down with time
Drowned in a sea of live rounds
Crowning achievements for heathens aimed at leading them sky bound
Pieces of the pie scrounged, devoured and regurgitated
Circumnavigation rakes her skin and makes it perforated
Her perspirations dug into, for
"PRODUCE MORE!", they hoot and holler as she scoots farther into a skewed form
Moving through storms
Bruised and torn
Feeling lukewarm
A jewel scorned by abusers courting her like a used whore
Let the gloom swarm
Bloom forth beauty sources
Protruding orchards from the flesh
She is truly gorgeous
A moving portrait with a soothing fortress orbit
Tuning tombs for holy ghost opuses
Due for new coordinates

The solar systems are vast and immeasurable
Not to (inter)dimension-all linked and paralleled
Spiritual and physical
Molecular divisible
A spectacle
Full of whimsical
Decibels and decimals and intervals
Evolution, death and restitution
Blessed unions, none invincible
Simple little minuscule particles
All a part of a larger elemental tapestry
Happy to be, heart and soul
Track Name: Paranoid Fanboy
Frantic tick tick tick tick tock
With my hands gripped, chip-clipped, interlocked and a slanted stance when I skip or walk
Better not dance or slip into wicked thoughts
(Kick it off)
I inch across the splintered cross that bridges my faults and losses to my accomplishments but trip and fall in the process
A gripping nauseous feeling trickles, drips and washes, collects and sloshes around until I'm sprawled on the ground in a fit of exhaustion
Consider it caution to prepare before embarking
"Is it aware? Isn't it scared?"
Vision impaired in forms of crossing into higher realms
Blind as hell
Trying to find myself
But time has dealt me decades I can never retrieve
Tighten the belt
Lighten the load and put pride on the shelf in spite of the selfish nature versus nurture which has worked his way into my basic sense of worth
Take steps and learn
Invest the earnings into something meaningful before we burn at the hands of those who rage against the Earth
The peasants search for penance through the saviors they pray to while those in power sing their fables
Cleaning blood from their halos
With double rainbow distractions enacted
Channeling the hatred
Living through the past lavishly

A man will feed upon the kill that he cleans and do his best to keep his family free of filth and disease
Until the greed becomes a fixture on his mental silver screen
Making wants essential
Spilling over needs
I'm really sort of peeved in a disorderly fashion but I keep the passion on the page
A bit of action means you're trapped in a cage
But I guess that a drone could just blast us away from miles above for cracking a statement or even standing near the range of a target
Just a dude in his apartment with his gamer tags on him
Sifting, tracking, watching, plotting, safely involved in the conflict
With the joystick militia
Point, click, disintegrate without a moment to waste
By way of the scripture
The situation thickens with the broth as it boils up to the top of the melting pot
Fed as slop to the loyal
Men and women, just less of them, have the option to toil but joy can be reached by all before becoming a part of the soil

Starting to spoil and and break into minerals and individual elemental components essential for every thing that exists
What's held and what's floating
Exploding stars contain the same atomic make up as me
And that's the type of knowledge that it's gotta take to be free
Just patiently wait to see faith in He bloom again due to an end or a new beginning
Who are we kidding?
I'm soon to be sinking into my own paranoid noodle and losing it then
But smoothly ascend into a state of awareness painted with scarceness
Care for what surrounds me though I'm one of the duller tools in the shed
I choose to mend instead of venting negativity whenever possible contend the obstacles with symmetry attempts
Revisiting the steps but never reliving them
Simply spend the tread left on your soul holding forgiving zen
Sticking with friends who stick with you
Sit and reflect on a thing or two or twenty
Just be ready to venture to new adventures and different tunes
Sing the blues
Pick and choose and kiss whomever the fuck you want
They'll tug and taunt the easiest targets to keep the US apart

But subtle sparks can flood the dark
Especially when others start to come from parts apart
Connection is an art
An arc that carries us characters to the climax
It's up to us to find happiness
Everybody walks a blind path
Track Name: Utopiugly feat. Engineers in Your Ear
~ Errol ~

Urbanized-rural drives
Serpent-like swerving on binding, sleepless nights
Ripe with angst and a mix of addictive picks designed to ease the spite
All of the streetlights shining sadistic smirks in sequenced watch-dog bliss
Over the people stripped of sleep and thought who speak with lock-jaw wit
Seeping rock star grit when the smart phones click to capture
Caught up in a vicious pattern of wanting to live faster to be a part of the thickened pastures
Glitz and glamour us phantomous
Channel the scattered lust into cantankerous maladjusted disastrous social standards with handles of gold we hold but these midas hands will rust
Trampled trust in tattered husks from cancerous attempts to fatten us
The catalyst to cattle us till ash to dust
But that's enough of the lathered fluff that's gathered up through the course of a lifespan
The hand in cuff sort
Distortion of flight plans
To soar to where mortars and kites can
No more boarded to floors with the night stands
Swimming forward
Exploring through time's sand but it's quick so I'm sinking in dry land
But I think if I give in to mind expansion I can exist when time collapses
Hide in the past with primalist passion
Dive through the depths to find Atlantis
Climb from ashes
Prying mantis
Hands unfolded
Holding hope through lonely slopes if only for the memory of my holy ghosts that used to hold me close back when I used to know it all
Throwing balls at stone walls
Using jokes as bone saws
Spewing a vocal barrage
Focusing hard on a global mirage
Slowly evolving
Becoming an optimist
Suddenly stopping to give to the call of fulfilling my ultimate 'point-scoring-soccer-kicks'
The utocalypse toppling bliss, chopping off limbs and taking away
But I'm staking my claim in the land of love to share with my neighbors for sake of the gain

(~ Purposeflo ~)

~ KyloRich ~

Woke up healing, regaining a feeling of a time that I was alive
If I was alive, then why don’t I cry?
No tears from beneath my eye
Got a very special way to hide the things
That are uncomfortable, so no confrontate
So I push them down, gotta bottle up the feelings
No accountability, complete with old deams
Old memories segregated, from the place that made em
It ain’t safe to save em, so I hide em in the haven
Of the cave of my EYE, just a little bit down the coastline
It’s a deadly rough road with a windy path
Devil’s Elbow – where the waves crash
“Why don’t you go back?”
Cause the overcast always clouds my path
Ima find a way though
The lighthouse lit it with a little bit of sunlight
And now the fog starts to pass
So the beautiful pine trees are coming into view
The ceiling seems to close in, faster than it opens
I’m hopin to follow the path of the ritchous broken
Barely copin with the fact that I made it - I mean, I put in my time
To climb to the top of the 9-5 chain of food assembly line
I tried to find mine – made a little money, but my soul keeps fallin
Deeper and deeper, on my hands and knees on the ground I’m crawlin

~ Errol ~

But we find a way to stay wide awake
Try to break from the frame of the lifeless game
The night terrain of lion cage tight-rope tiptoeing
A fight to be alive
Dine and dash on the price to pay
Find a passionate right of way or decide to hide and stray from what could actually brighten your days
Happiness hiding mistakes and paving the greatest path to travel and unravelling the sky for a change
Someday I will die and you'll be fine
You will die and they'll survive
They will die and who will mind?
Everything that we know will be consumed by time
Truth entwined with faith and a heightened state of appreciation on our individual races to a home or destination
Track Name: Shh, Be Quiet...the World Will Hear You - I. Silence @ 10:31
Give up your lips and tongue or kiss the guns in front of you
The news is ripe with shiest
It's time for missions to uncover truth
Execute opponents
Leaders witness, from a comfy view, the lawful pistol pump and shoot
It's just a bunch of number two
The pigs have come to punish you for cutting through your mouth stitches
Powerhead devout Christians kill, recoup and count riches
A bout this vicious will be televised with clever disguises keeping people's shouts nixed
It's semper fi exemplified
So dig a trench and hide or testify the set in stride eventual end to rights
The sentences drenched in pesticides
Meant to desensitize and correct the tide of change as tidal waves of exempt henchmen are sent in to protect the lie
These desperate times will call for rash measure margins
Since the lines are tapped, collecting calls, we'll be accepting charges without the process we were promised by our uncle when we stumbled in this jungle that's the opposite of humble
Making opposition crumble from atop the rubble of others
Gotta pop the bubble and come out from under the covers
'Cause they're smothering us all up against the wall
It's dangerous business to speak against or sit in peace to vent and protest
No rest for the wicked
No sticking it to the man without arrests and convictions so stick to the business plan
Commit your hands to your sides and your mouths to a vow of silence
Kiss your standards goodbye
Here come thousands of accounts of violence ignited on home soil by loyal deceitful saviors who tailored a legal framework to enslave with a piece of paper
Draining the people's basic rights
To keep us safe inside our homes watching programs aimed to unleash a wave of fright
If we don't take the fight to them, we just might see the end of freedoms
Our rights suspended
Life decent to Of Mice and Men
Cryogenic leaders will tell us to keep the faith in a police state regime run by cheaters, felons and cheapskates
For pistol pete's sake I hope I win a sporting goods sweepstakes to stock up on weapons
Oh my heavens, it's really happening
Maybe move to a maple leaf state or a make believe place before the country's at catastrophe capacity and drastically beyond resuscitation
Bless the nation of thieves keeping us jaded
Elated at entertainment news that caters to our hopes and dreams
So serene as dopamine that flows and streams below the seems

We hold the key or at least we used to
Till the goof troop removed it from the rings we had had latched to our belt loops
So stealth moves will be required like conspiring in privacy to unite in groups designing riot scenes
Our wildest dreams really might come true
A sight to see, the silent screams as our lives undo
A time one too many has led us to the flames of Rome
So take a last stroll down that old paved road home and say goodbye to peace, decency, innocence and liberty
Hello griel, defeat and intricate misery
Intimate infantries are lining up as we speak to keep us from speaking
Freezing sheets of ice to keep us trapped beneath
We shattered these menageries
We've been gathering the tragedies
Building masterpiece calamities
Until we reach catastrophe capacity
Disasters feed agendas and half the people surrender their reason and just accept the sweetened sugar-coated splendor
There just has to be a measure we can grab or reach together
The seasons erupt in treason
We have truly reached a peak of change
Track Name: Shh, Be Quiet...the World Will Hear You - II. Bread & Circuses
And so I sleep the days away beneath a cage of gazes waking me repeatedly
The ace of spades remains to play in secrecy
The deck is laced
It's safe to say we're faced with vagrant dreams enacted blatantly
Amazing race the maze
Escape the tyranny
But fear of fleeing keeps me hear seated insatiably
While nature screams my name, I beat my brain for change of scenery
Chained to the region that raised me and anxious to leave but wanting to stay and needing to wait to be ready to stray
Anchors away
My aching ticker's conflicted but I'm sticking with it for love's sake
I hope the flood gates don't break before I get to finish the living I've got to do here
The new year is right around the corner and the warning signs are all over and under
I shoulder the hunger for personal growth above the surgical strokes that birth words and verses in hopes of inspiring something from someone
Internal spark
Fertile sharks lurk in dark waters
Encircling art and certain thought-to-be freedoms
I need to start preparing
It's scary to think, in the blink of an eye the skies could ignite in a fiery blaze of despair
We must be aware
Mistrust in the air
Distractions on the tube
Soon they'll snatch and ration food
Increase the tactical abuse
They are wrapping nooses tightly 'round our necks of the woods
With loose inspected disrespect drenched in reflections of good
Don't second guess the misdirection
You sense it in what you see and you covet and you purchase, prepare, consume and reduce to rubbish
The public's under surveillance
A hundred cameras are waiting around every corner
Recording our faces and voices
Reporting our choices to the royal authority, moral majority-supported assortment of contorting thieves
These wars for peace, the distorted dreams, are a part of something more discreet and bigger than I can fully figure or believe
But like it or not, it's happening right in our optic paths and the signs are constantly stacking up
Keeping us itching for relief
I'm torn between the ways I'm set in and the prepping for who I need to be if life's really headed where I believe it's headed
I keep on getting the sense that the needle's threaded
The people stressed and collecting lethal weapons for protection and deep aggression progressed into blood thirst fulfillment
If love hurts, then killing's just a part of the package
They keep discretion deception with a cover image to lull us into comfort, willing us to pardon the damage
My heart is contaminated
Celebrating new year's in my room alone, deep in thought
Crooning slow
Speaking soft
And keeping watch as the celebration pops because fireworks are the perfect cover for gunshots

Fireworks are the perfect cover for gunshots
High alerts under surface bubblegum fun drops
Violent spurts will emerge and jump from the glove box
Hide your hurt
Curtained until the love is a sunspot
My stomach has spun knots
Punch-drunk angst
Among the gut-rot giving dump truck thanks
A sudden abrupt stop brings on change
Stuck on this table with a big long chain
In this ping pong game
The same sing song sang in a range of pitches
Containing glitches and labor shifts but lately raised suspicions have made a difference in day to day decisions
Is it a brain condition?
Enslaved to the premonitions
Insane or intuition?
In vain or in tradition, God exists above it all in puzzled minds and muzzled jaws
Believe it or not, but it doesn't dissolve
Doesn't absolve shit either
Just digs deeper and gives reason to heave it
Lead with steps until you're six feet beneath it
But I want the scenic features breathing in my death soot when the left foot, right foot march is discarded
Part of the textbook
Pardon the flesh cook talks I often bark with softened heart solace I've stocked on top of a solid spark
I follow darkness 'cause it's hard to sneak away from
Beneath people forsaking peace and speaking with snake tongues
Debate one
They will take guns, knives and hand restraints
Snatch your plate
Grab, detain and drown you in the sands of fate
You can't escape
Damn, too late
No more patriotism action with military state-supported blankets draped over the masses faces
Raping the course of a nation that always negates to taste the bate before it's taken
Now more wars are waging, we're headed to the end of days
It's a-ok, though, as long as we're fed and entertained
The center stage is set to take affect with break-neck speed
It's a safe bet for us to memorize the apex creed
Wait, let's breathe
Stay set free
But it's a train wreck that's set to detonate before impact and after again for good measure
Whether pleasure or necessity or both, rendering the folks poisoned and zombified
Tethered to full surrender
Fooled by the never-enders with the clever street magician swagger
Hidden, vicious badger stamina
Secret submission masters
Peaceful existence shattered, scattered as a trash heap
Battles push max reach while war drums perform blast beats
In forms of clapping heat
Disasterpieces sculpted with massive consumption
Fattening the gullets of masters of puppets seated at the pulpit on the summit
Engulfing the public
It's dumb because I love it and hate it
Plus stuck in its ways
Oh, what an arrangement
Such fun and games mixed with estrangement
The future seems vacant
I used to chase it
Soon I'll use it to escape
Making beautiful mistakes is necessary in the race for placement
Blue in the face replaced with subtle grooming of the fates
Some movement could erase the crucial state but who's to say?
Maybe gloomy days are just the result of a soothing, looming haze produced to glaze the gazes of this rabid pack of meat sacks
We ask to be untapped from it
This habitat's a mean trap
Relax or relapse or fight the cruel colors
Sing the red meat, red blood red white and blues, brother
Seeking some new cover safer from the mothership
Custom fit grip on self to skate and jump up from the grid

We stumbled into a sunken ship
Clutching utter bliss tightly in a fuddled grip
A couple mits holding tools and devices used to spy and soon to snipe us
Wipe us from the globe
The human crisis
Track Name: Shh, Be Quiet...the World Will Hear You - III. Timbucktoo, MT
Push the wires aside and step outside
The skies are breathing life
The trees recite a hushed lullaby
To nullify the jumbled mind divide
Under divine beauty and peace
Release from things that keep us creased
Unfold the crane and fly
Eden is within
Breathe in the 'everything-connection' we forget
Before rest
See we can sing and pretend but at the symphony's end there's no da capo to send us back
We write our compositions with specifics
In love or indifference
Under the bride a river washes the slate but not the ink from the page
So I'm drifting away
Instead of sinking in grains of sand
Take hands with rain dance phantoms and stand among creation, not above it
and enhanced

Pull the plug from my skull and proceed through the wreckage
We must disconnect to achieve true connection
Seeking serene surroundings

Seeking serene surroundings of silence
Before I'm silenced
Track Name: Friends Don't Let Friends Drop Bombs
We are animals
We must bomb our friends
Track Name: Paper Angel
Final moments forging elegy
Essence engraved in parting strokes
Wingspan unfold
No margin can hold
She flies beyond the creases and edges she rests in
Sharing the simple string of words that she was left with

Chest ceased to rise on the flower-dressed furniture
We cry
Powerless to the learning curve
I heard the early bird news on the front stoop
Mom's house
Dad's words
Numb to the truth
Put my tongue in a noose
Struggle to produce a whisper even
Grieving on a spring day that feels like the winter season
Bitter breeze split the trees and hit my cheeks like vicious kisses wistfully ripping me from my inseams in mystery
A 21 gun symphony given she up on St. Mary's hill
The wind faint
Very still
A chill filling the mausoleum with lack
The second of siblings lost in a week
Unfair the clarity tearing at Mary
To carry the cross of seeing them pass
But she is relaxed when people around almost reach a collapse
Now she has the feverish task of having to see both her children sleep in the ash
It's grief and glee for the past
Fear and hope for the next
And every moment's inches closer to death

But every moment is blessed
Every moment is fresh
Every moment, ingest
Every moment, invest

The only thing left was goodbye but I shaded my eyes
It's just something that I couldn't take in at the time
But I regret it
Oh, I regret not stepping into that room
I let the fear consume me

Then spoon-feed gloom and grief
And as the tune proceeds just days later we put Puka to sleep
I used to believe that neither would ever leave
'Cause everything would change but be the same indefinitely
But inevitably the end will be seen again and again until it's reached
The pendulum cease
I try to tend to the sheep deep in my head but I keep keeping a seasoned wool vizor over my eyes instead
When it's time for bed, let my mind be steadfast
Before it's wiped clean like wet naps
Surviving the set backs till black sets in to what once was vision disintegrated
Simple vindication of our living nature
We've given favor to the thoughts of immortality
Enslaved by the tainted flavor
Caught up within a fallacy
Shimmy the balance beam gradually and gather speed accordingly
The path you seek is yours
A different course is just a masterpiece of forgery
Fashion your story with passion and glory but make it your own
Never take shape with the clones
Sometimes we face things alone
Sometimes with help from our fellow beings
'Cause selfless deeds exist but still we've gotta give some elbow grease
Remember to eat our healthy greens and leave the red meat
Forever's bed
Extended rest
I hope we sleep on fresh sheets
My paper angel, sketched so freely, speaks a phrase to keep me sane on bleaker days
"Everything will be ok"
Track Name: Why Don't You Paint a Portrait? It'll Last Longer
Sometime the sun shines, sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes we climb, but then sometimes we plummet.