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It's Not the End of the World​.​.​.​Wait, it is?

by Errol Hem

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1.
I've been anti-socially awkward since I got ahold of the monster Sober, cautious, plus just totally altered from what the former unconscious encompassed Haven't had them chopping-up-onion eyes in some time But along with that my fun level died The sun is still shining though I don't know why I bitch and throw piss and moan fits and quit kicking flows with little to no interest or motivation I've always been so impatient Emotionally vacant in certain situations related to hope I changed from what I used to know was true It flew the coup some time ago 'Cause those (eye)deas just had my mind gripped by the throat I hide inside my notebook Fighting to find time to open and devote some minutes to opening my self and sense of soul to it A bowl of bliss to hold the plips and shifts that hitch me to existence Flip to pick a suit from 52 decisions As I slither, creep, crawl Peek over walls to seek escape Eden awaits but eagerness drapes the seeds of my fate when I needed the rays to shine the most Hide the hope until the fever breaks the rope I need to take a moment Submerge and wait to breathe till it's safe to float Drain the boat Don't let the anchor choke the quest Daggered anger in my chest as I'm staggering home to rest Dangling bones and flesh that just drag with each slowing step Weighed down by fate's gown and a bag of some old regrets Stagnant and soaking wet The ocean's breath delivers peace but I'm settled in city streets Listening to distant rivers weep Used to play on hills and creeks in the backyard of my mom's home Now I'm john doe'ing through the city Still fixing eyes upon the cosmos Thinking beyond hope to the future A selfish feature for creatures of predetermined truth I used to think I was the shit but I realize I'm kind of a piece of one Speak too much or cheek to tongue The sequence spun up when leaking lungs Freeze the sun and keep my love for the place in which my feet have dug Scrambling 'cross the city like a measly bug I need a hug Or at least some months to get my thoughts straight I lost my faith along with weight for art's sake A cost, great Pause, wait I'm not aiming to play the old placing-the-blame game But I'm still crawling aimlessly Waiting to fall face first into a calm space And I'm stuck at a stalled pace where the walls wait for whispered phrases from withered faces that have kissed the pavement Making claims in vain and indecision Painting it within the pits of my soul With a fistful of wishful thinking Sitting Dreaming Fishbowl drinking Sinking into myself Drowning in pools of selfish thoughts and acts Helpless to cross the tracks from a faulted path we've all become accustomed to Rushing to something new without ever truly appreciating what it's done for you I stumbled through my first couple decades a little too anxious to move anchors without doing anything vaguely major But patience is such a lovely thing Take it and tuck it under wing A comforting reminder of higher subtleties Humbling Pick a bug Spirit bug I'm a tiger moth Flying across the sky with desires to let the light engulf me A child's thoughts and artful processes can help accomplish lots of possible results and conquer problems Readopt the honor system Tolerance Optimism A promise of progress Instead of cataclysmic nods toward apocalypse A solemn wish to stop the dominance of politicking obstetricians delivering devil-spawned acknowledgements that render us powerless Endless encounters with happiness is what we could be having if we'd work together All of us But it's obvious to me we'll never see that day As long as the machines parade our streets, invade our homes and eat our brains These things that we depend on have evil ways of keeping us at bay and disregarding things that people say The telecommunication age breakthrough to communication breakdown has us facedown in gadgets hours out of the day now Voices are stray sounds that paint the town vibrantly Safe and sound Making rounds silently My third eye is weak but I will seek to open it wider than both the other two Try to approach the sun and moon's shine In due time When the energy fields combine Like a congregation of light and peace helping me be alive
2.
I was born into faith and beliefs that were anchored to me through repetition and fear Full of anger and grief FIlling handkerchiefs until I made the decision to veer right to a road I can comfortably travel No battling uphill with thought of divinity pinning me down Give me the clouds and green grass What I see What I feel What I live What I hear Rhythm in the middle of the ears brings cheer and serenity Preventing me from being unhinged In a pinch or emotional ditch, gotta go for the switch Keep reaching for what the sun gives Light Heat Food Medicine Let it in Mother knows best of provides So take a deep breath and climb the steep side of a hill that'll lead to the steps in the sky An exception to time and space You can find your place in connection with everything else in existence Helps for the misfits Melt the wicks to burn bright as haze Life's a maze and minds enslave us Blinding sight from what surrounds Fuck the ground Touch the clouds Start a conversation There's always ice to break A nice escape from the nights and days of quiet restraint in compliance with fate that's defined by faith in a blinded state of silent debate on what's right and what ain't Gaia contains the guidance we place in the faceless name of praise Instead of straying away from change, arrange a strange encounter or display For today Never let the next one hold your emotion Focus on the open road 'Cause in-the-moment's the only reality we know Clutch it Hold it Love it Know it Dust it Mold it Hone it Let it grow into a beautiful field Bearing the fruits and flowers only which you choose to reveal Keeping bruises concealed can create illusions of real Suited for beauty or weaponry entities cleverly use for the kill With heavy confusion and zeal for a truth or a feeling conducive to healing Improvement A movement to betterment Set it in sediment stone We will exit alone in conclusion of being. Whether mutual agreement or not, breath stops in a spot not plotted on the timeline Time flies So we keep on shooting for the ceiling if continuing to breathe There's always new things to achieve This skin is but an intimate imprisonment of innocence and we are something little but we live as if we don't bleed Don't die So I'm swimming in the breeze Learning how I can appreciate the fact I'm alive Deviating from the path they prescribe Fuck a greedy nation running rampant with lies I gotta steal a vacation to a vast land wide Take a chance on life We can dance all night`and plant all day Work with our hands while we cast away from the master race they keep us running like rats in What if I dash for the sunny sky passion? Just keep your sunny side up Try laughing Nullify uptight action Cast it aside like some old pad thai 'cause your soul can fly Let it rise like bug bite rashes In love-life fashion Fastened with tongue-tied fascination traced back to basic pace 'Cause when the days turn to masquerades we stay anxious to mask our plagues A nascar race, we circle the globe in search of a home With personal goals to service our merciful souls and give us a purpose to work with over the hurt that emerges to burden the further advancement Chance it Take the risk Make the best of a situation when it take a piss on your face Make peace and stick with the path
3.
Let's go on a camping trip A journey lit by candlesticks We'll dance and skip to heaven, hand on fist, before the rapture hits Slash a wrist or nick a throat You can take a different road The wretched path is packed with bastards trapped upon their tippy toes With finger bones exposed beneath the thinly woven flesh Stretched to reach relief from seething heat and inner-soul distress Like the winter woe control that keeps the sinners so repressed When the teacher preaches exodus we'll split with no regrets Sing the holy mess on high until the soul's desensitized and lifted up to leave the victims as the only left alive When you rest your faith in something grossly drenched in lies, you set aside a stable mind to feed a lowly sense of pride Slowly jeopardizing lives that buy the end of times assessments Hiding restless in a trench Designing exits Quite eccentric, if you ask me, but I'm sure you're not concerned with the beliefs of non-believers Bet you'd rather watch me burn When my flesh meets the cooking point Maybe saving grace can begin And I'll feel the snakes in my skin quickly chase away the sin so the angels can come in But even angels can't convince the psychopathic mathematicians not to craft traditions exploiting religious ideals and brash decisions Passionate prison cells plastered with vivid descriptions of infinite hell and disasters Written by hands of man to answer the answerless questions and capture riches Cannibalistic mandibles rip in a ravenous fit of elaborate mischief Stabbing and twisting the souls of man with extravagant habits of magical interest Tragic indifference to anyone out of the loop, even many within The perennial spin cycle, heavy with sin and a welcoming grin for yourself and the kids Unless you don't fit in the grid developed in the image of Him Maybe it's Her? Crazy, absurd to think heavenly power could ever be feminine Never 'Cause even our dear Mother Earth is raped and beaten and chained by man The chain of command with its dick in its hand Spreading disease across the land A cross A lamb atop an alter Slaughtered all in the facade of order Cloaking the control that's all but forced upon our throats from those who quote their bibles snidely Demonizing love that they don't understand or realize or recognize as real Despise and lie to fight for feelings rooted in taught and manicured hatred We're chasing nature up mountains They grouch and stand in the basement Their hands on their faces Negating change and progression Just making threats and suggestions dressed as lessons Blatantly vacant ethics Blank expressions blanket aggression toward others of different colors, creeds and orientations Just more of the same shit A cordially ape shit, morally brainless, agenda-driven sort of vagrance in support of enslavement Looking forward to waging wars and all sorts of engagements in unadulterated, sub-human degradation in cornered nations With more deranged, self-important strangers taking reigns and aiming to place us in fabled orchards all in vain The power is the root of it Devouring conscience and boosting ignorance, fear and hatred in followers glued to it Such power abuse Controlling dead and the living No separating church and state They've been in bed since the beginning
4.
Holding bouquets of unfulfillment still in bloom and consumed with growth A killer tune filling the room can make moves and a scream can truly soothe the throat A cruel joke new-spoke spinning just snowballs Watch it grow or snip the root with a fish hook wish bone break Try to twist that fate and maybe kiss the cook Can i kick it even though i've got a twisted foot from the quest i took and still am on Hit the books or take quick looks at the slick rhythm of the villain's song Millions strong Is it wrong to think a small shift might trick me and kill the calm and disarm inflict harm with wicked tossed sing song fast balls launched at acrylic palms Every living thing is built with flaws guilts and scars The point is to stiffen the jaw Give it your all Vividly draw your own symphony Carve it into infinity Raw Scribble exquisitely on it And in between the lines and the notes leave quotes of dreams hopes and scenes of growth It cleans the soul to speak from both points of view When you're stuck on your toes trying to reach the rope Might appear to be stuck but i've still got focus Kaleidoscope vision to foresee the lotus Can't grow as a person if your head's closed Won't rip open the envelope licked by the old folks Joking about the past misfortunes Scorching every epidermis to the bone It's a fine line between insanity and humanity when you wanna split the cell and make a clone You should take all the money that you're wasting and place it in a porcelain bank with a little pig's face Invest in the idea that this planet's dying Need to crack gravity and get to space 'Cause in the end we're all humans stuck in a constant rotation of cycled conclusions No one ever tried to pay attention to the movement Everyone was too busy letting looks be illusive Poor excuses to be so blind To a saint or a savant We could've been to a place far away that we could live but we ended up lost Called the wrong shot on the coin toss Never taught the kids how to read the moss I swim with the souls of misthoughts at any cost to promote the feelings that i brought Feeling used up Wheeling on fumes but i'm used to gassed up attitudes Flash floods splatter through lattitudes Glass house shatterproof Passion for true love has passed Oh it's sad but true Gathering bruises and wounds while maneuvering through a sea of blurred faces Turning away from the worst case visions A freedom, per-say, when we open the bird cages With death, flirtatious Regular basis, taking chances and the hands of strangers Stand in place or dance with danger Fate advances These legs are just snakes that i captured and latched to my skin So i slither in grass with the wind at my back Though it feels like an infinite path it'll soon be snatched Fin (I look away) from the debt and the death that affect every second we breathe Though they beckon to me (I look away) Chewing on the same course day to day the way that the emotions collect on my teeth And since we can't keep boarded inside dream we'll build a (fortress of pine trees) To play hide and seek till we find some peace or a piece of grace My knees have scraped the fragrant blades in the name of faith Though it changed i remain in touch with mother nature's face I want to race to the safe embrace of the ancient plains we grazed on gazed at Lay flat Let the sun rays blast Main task: stay on that hard-work-pays-back straight path Gain tact and a grasp on what it stands for to be self-determined self-assertive well-learned and self-sustained Health maintained With our neighbors No strangers We will all know each other's names Share love in the sun and the rain No mundane one-way ticket to a grave When the spirit is awakened we will live above labels and pain and shame in rhythmic arrays of energy systems Twisting in intricate ways A vivid display Visiting different plains of existence till the physical hits the hay and withers away Essence left with death is collected and regained and recycled through the life cycles Reflected and relayed Elegant waves existing endlessly Assembling the framework to everything that is and was and eventually will fade
5.
The ping of raindrops knocks gently on the windowpane that hangs above the bed in which her fickle little figure lays Nimble fingers twitch awake to itch a space of inner leg The lifting lids bring pixelated visions of infinite disarray That dissipate in a single wave of fleeting fear and faith Clarity Prepared to be, again She clears her tearful face Spirit braced to chase the sacred, vacant dream of clean existence Seek forgiveness for the demon's given along with the feeding of fixes The people visit, then exit, with different methods Keeping hidden or detected in attendance She reaches for redemption Ever afflicted with the scars and marks A landing strip for kisses Sitting with the stars Her head up in the clouds Spinning Keeping the past buried within She carries sin and burdens and bliss throughout the circular twist Through personal shifts and natural occurrences, she's turned, observed and been through the worst of it So many surface-splitting surges of worthlessness She's been searching for tourniquets Something permanent to bandage the damage and fight the parasites that tear and bite to survive Inclines to share life with the cherished lights in the sky She rises up the tides in times of overblown emotion With overtones of a broken, almost comatose and hopeless sense of loathing If only she could take it back to the days of complacent lack of waste Naked space Fade to black But wait, she's back to crack the dawn Fashion songs of natural cause attached to calm atmosphere and a dash of awe To mask the flaws she's acquired over centuries Providing her own necessities prior to knowing treachery and violent, probing wretches depleting bio-expression she's presented so heavenly from divided coasts to separate seas High hopes and severed seems that lie with broken evergreens A choked up rising ocean, but no lifeboat could set her free Crying 'open sesame' with tightrope trajectory Slowly exposing ghosts on the climb toward total entropy Eventually ending the nose to grindstone connect And yet she still sees her destiny with the sky eloped in ecstasy Universal energy sent, received and recycled A second is just a breath and an exit is an arrival Pessimistic survival mode Trying so hard to yield and provide while shielding her eyes from the disease in disguise Keeping her tied down with time Drowned in a sea of live rounds Crowning achievements for heathens aimed at leading them sky bound Pieces of the pie scrounged, devoured and regurgitated Circumnavigation rakes her skin and makes it perforated Her perspirations dug into, for "PRODUCE MORE!", they hoot and holler as she scoots farther into a skewed form Moving through storms Bruised and torn Feeling lukewarm A jewel scorned by abusers courting her like a used whore Let the gloom swarm Bloom forth beauty sources Protruding orchards from the flesh She is truly gorgeous A moving portrait with a soothing fortress orbit Tuning tombs for holy ghost opuses Due for new coordinates The solar systems are vast and immeasurable Not to (inter)dimension-all linked and paralleled Inseparable Spiritual and physical Molecular divisible Exceptional A spectacle Majestic Full of whimsical Decibels and decimals and intervals Evolution, death and restitution Blessed unions, none invincible Simple little minuscule particles All a part of a larger elemental tapestry Happy to be, heart and soul
6.
Frantic tick tick tick tick tock With my hands gripped, chip-clipped, interlocked and a slanted stance when I skip or walk Better not dance or slip into wicked thoughts (Kick it off) I inch across the splintered cross that bridges my faults and losses to my accomplishments but trip and fall in the process A gripping nauseous feeling trickles, drips and washes, collects and sloshes around until I'm sprawled on the ground in a fit of exhaustion Consider it caution to prepare before embarking "Is it aware? Isn't it scared?" Vision impaired in forms of crossing into higher realms Blind as hell Trying to find myself But time has dealt me decades I can never retrieve Tighten the belt Lighten the load and put pride on the shelf in spite of the selfish nature versus nurture which has worked his way into my basic sense of worth Take steps and learn Invest the earnings into something meaningful before we burn at the hands of those who rage against the Earth The peasants search for penance through the saviors they pray to while those in power sing their fables Cleaning blood from their halos With double rainbow distractions enacted Hazardry Blasphemy Channeling the hatred Living through the past lavishly A man will feed upon the kill that he cleans and do his best to keep his family free of filth and disease Until the greed becomes a fixture on his mental silver screen Making wants essential Spilling over needs I'm really sort of peeved in a disorderly fashion but I keep the passion on the page A bit of action means you're trapped in a cage But I guess that a drone could just blast us away from miles above for cracking a statement or even standing near the range of a target Just a dude in his apartment with his gamer tags on him Sifting, tracking, watching, plotting, safely involved in the conflict With the joystick militia Point, click, disintegrate without a moment to waste By way of the scripture The situation thickens with the broth as it boils up to the top of the melting pot Fed as slop to the loyal Men and women, just less of them, have the option to toil but joy can be reached by all before becoming a part of the soil Starting to spoil and and break into minerals and individual elemental components essential for every thing that exists What's held and what's floating Exploding stars contain the same atomic make up as me And that's the type of knowledge that it's gotta take to be free Just patiently wait to see faith in He bloom again due to an end or a new beginning Who are we kidding? I'm soon to be sinking into my own paranoid noodle and losing it then But smoothly ascend into a state of awareness painted with scarceness Care for what surrounds me though I'm one of the duller tools in the shed I choose to mend instead of venting negativity whenever possible contend the obstacles with symmetry attempts Revisiting the steps but never reliving them Simply spend the tread left on your soul holding forgiving zen Sticking with friends who stick with you Sit and reflect on a thing or two or twenty Just be ready to venture to new adventures and different tunes Sing the blues Pick and choose and kiss whomever the fuck you want They'll tug and taunt the easiest targets to keep the US apart But subtle sparks can flood the dark Especially when others start to come from parts apart Connection is an art An arc that carries us characters to the climax It's up to us to find happiness Everybody walks a blind path
7.
~ Errol ~ Urbanized-rural drives Serpent-like swerving on binding, sleepless nights Ripe with angst and a mix of addictive picks designed to ease the spite All of the streetlights shining sadistic smirks in sequenced watch-dog bliss Over the people stripped of sleep and thought who speak with lock-jaw wit Seeping rock star grit when the smart phones click to capture Caught up in a vicious pattern of wanting to live faster to be a part of the thickened pastures Glitz and glamour us phantomous Channel the scattered lust into cantankerous maladjusted disastrous social standards with handles of gold we hold but these midas hands will rust Trampled trust in tattered husks from cancerous attempts to fatten us The catalyst to cattle us till ash to dust But that's enough of the lathered fluff that's gathered up through the course of a lifespan The hand in cuff sort Distortion of flight plans To soar to where mortars and kites can No more boarded to floors with the night stands Swimming forward Exploring through time's sand but it's quick so I'm sinking in dry land But I think if I give in to mind expansion I can exist when time collapses Hide in the past with primalist passion Dive through the depths to find Atlantis Climb from ashes Prying mantis Hands unfolded Holding hope through lonely slopes if only for the memory of my holy ghosts that used to hold me close back when I used to know it all Throwing balls at stone walls Using jokes as bone saws Spewing a vocal barrage Focusing hard on a global mirage Slowly evolving Becoming an optimist Suddenly stopping to give to the call of fulfilling my ultimate 'point-scoring-soccer-kicks' The utocalypse toppling bliss, chopping off limbs and taking away But I'm staking my claim in the land of love to share with my neighbors for sake of the gain (~ Purposeflo ~) ~ KyloRich ~ Woke up healing, regaining a feeling of a time that I was alive If I was alive, then why don’t I cry? No tears from beneath my eye Got a very special way to hide the things That are uncomfortable, so no confrontate So I push them down, gotta bottle up the feelings No accountability, complete with old deams Old memories segregated, from the place that made em It ain’t safe to save em, so I hide em in the haven Of the cave of my EYE, just a little bit down the coastline It’s a deadly rough road with a windy path Devil’s Elbow – where the waves crash “Why don’t you go back?” Cause the overcast always clouds my path Ima find a way though The lighthouse lit it with a little bit of sunlight And now the fog starts to pass So the beautiful pine trees are coming into view The ceiling seems to close in, faster than it opens I’m hopin to follow the path of the ritchous broken Barely copin with the fact that I made it - I mean, I put in my time To climb to the top of the 9-5 chain of food assembly line I tried to find mine – made a little money, but my soul keeps fallin Deeper and deeper, on my hands and knees on the ground I’m crawlin ~ Errol ~ But we find a way to stay wide awake Try to break from the frame of the lifeless game The night terrain of lion cage tight-rope tiptoeing A fight to be alive Dine and dash on the price to pay Find a passionate right of way or decide to hide and stray from what could actually brighten your days Happiness hiding mistakes and paving the greatest path to travel and unravelling the sky for a change Someday I will die and you'll be fine You will die and they'll survive They will die and who will mind? Everything that we know will be consumed by time Truth entwined with faith and a heightened state of appreciation on our individual races to a home or destination
8.
Give up your lips and tongue or kiss the guns in front of you The news is ripe with shiest It's time for missions to uncover truth Execute opponents Leaders witness, from a comfy view, the lawful pistol pump and shoot It's just a bunch of number two The pigs have come to punish you for cutting through your mouth stitches Powerhead devout Christians kill, recoup and count riches A bout this vicious will be televised with clever disguises keeping people's shouts nixed It's semper fi exemplified So dig a trench and hide or testify the set in stride eventual end to rights The sentences drenched in pesticides Meant to desensitize and correct the tide of change as tidal waves of exempt henchmen are sent in to protect the lie These desperate times will call for rash measure margins Since the lines are tapped, collecting calls, we'll be accepting charges without the process we were promised by our uncle when we stumbled in this jungle that's the opposite of humble Making opposition crumble from atop the rubble of others Gotta pop the bubble and come out from under the covers 'Cause they're smothering us all up against the wall It's dangerous business to speak against or sit in peace to vent and protest No rest for the wicked No sticking it to the man without arrests and convictions so stick to the business plan Commit your hands to your sides and your mouths to a vow of silence Kiss your standards goodbye Here come thousands of accounts of violence ignited on home soil by loyal deceitful saviors who tailored a legal framework to enslave with a piece of paper Draining the people's basic rights To keep us safe inside our homes watching programs aimed to unleash a wave of fright If we don't take the fight to them, we just might see the end of freedoms Our rights suspended Life decent to Of Mice and Men Cryogenic leaders will tell us to keep the faith in a police state regime run by cheaters, felons and cheapskates For pistol pete's sake I hope I win a sporting goods sweepstakes to stock up on weapons Oh my heavens, it's really happening Maybe move to a maple leaf state or a make believe place before the country's at catastrophe capacity and drastically beyond resuscitation Bless the nation of thieves keeping us jaded Elated at entertainment news that caters to our hopes and dreams So serene as dopamine that flows and streams below the seems We hold the key or at least we used to Till the goof troop removed it from the rings we had had latched to our belt loops So stealth moves will be required like conspiring in privacy to unite in groups designing riot scenes Our wildest dreams really might come true A sight to see, the silent screams as our lives undo A time one too many has led us to the flames of Rome So take a last stroll down that old paved road home and say goodbye to peace, decency, innocence and liberty Hello griel, defeat and intricate misery Intimate infantries are lining up as we speak to keep us from speaking Freezing sheets of ice to keep us trapped beneath We shattered these menageries We've been gathering the tragedies Building masterpiece calamities Until we reach catastrophe capacity Disasters feed agendas and half the people surrender their reason and just accept the sweetened sugar-coated splendor There just has to be a measure we can grab or reach together The seasons erupt in treason We have truly reached a peak of change
9.
And so I sleep the days away beneath a cage of gazes waking me repeatedly The ace of spades remains to play in secrecy The deck is laced It's safe to say we're faced with vagrant dreams enacted blatantly Amazing race the maze Escape the tyranny But fear of fleeing keeps me hear seated insatiably While nature screams my name, I beat my brain for change of scenery Chained to the region that raised me and anxious to leave but wanting to stay and needing to wait to be ready to stray Anchors away My aching ticker's conflicted but I'm sticking with it for love's sake I hope the flood gates don't break before I get to finish the living I've got to do here The new year is right around the corner and the warning signs are all over and under I shoulder the hunger for personal growth above the surgical strokes that birth words and verses in hopes of inspiring something from someone Internal spark Fertile sharks lurk in dark waters Encircling art and certain thought-to-be freedoms I need to start preparing It's scary to think, in the blink of an eye the skies could ignite in a fiery blaze of despair We must be aware Mistrust in the air Distractions on the tube Soon they'll snatch and ration food Increase the tactical abuse They are wrapping nooses tightly 'round our necks of the woods With loose inspected disrespect drenched in reflections of good Don't second guess the misdirection You sense it in what you see and you covet and you purchase, prepare, consume and reduce to rubbish The public's under surveillance A hundred cameras are waiting around every corner Recording our faces and voices Reporting our choices to the royal authority, moral majority-supported assortment of contorting thieves These wars for peace, the distorted dreams, are a part of something more discreet and bigger than I can fully figure or believe But like it or not, it's happening right in our optic paths and the signs are constantly stacking up Keeping us itching for relief I'm torn between the ways I'm set in and the prepping for who I need to be if life's really headed where I believe it's headed I keep on getting the sense that the needle's threaded The people stressed and collecting lethal weapons for protection and deep aggression progressed into blood thirst fulfillment If love hurts, then killing's just a part of the package They keep discretion deception with a cover image to lull us into comfort, willing us to pardon the damage My heart is contaminated Celebrating new year's in my room alone, deep in thought Crooning slow Speaking soft And keeping watch as the celebration pops because fireworks are the perfect cover for gunshots Fireworks are the perfect cover for gunshots High alerts under surface bubblegum fun drops Violent spurts will emerge and jump from the glove box Hide your hurt Curtained until the love is a sunspot My stomach has spun knots Punch-drunk angst Among the gut-rot giving dump truck thanks A sudden abrupt stop brings on change Stuck on this table with a big long chain In this ping pong game The same sing song sang in a range of pitches Containing glitches and labor shifts but lately raised suspicions have made a difference in day to day decisions Is it a brain condition? Enslaved to the premonitions Insane or intuition? In vain or in tradition, God exists above it all in puzzled minds and muzzled jaws Believe it or not, but it doesn't dissolve Doesn't absolve shit either Just digs deeper and gives reason to heave it Lead with steps until you're six feet beneath it But I want the scenic features breathing in my death soot when the left foot, right foot march is discarded Part of the textbook Pardon the flesh cook talks I often bark with softened heart solace I've stocked on top of a solid spark I follow darkness 'cause it's hard to sneak away from Beneath people forsaking peace and speaking with snake tongues Debate one They will take guns, knives and hand restraints Snatch your plate Grab, detain and drown you in the sands of fate You can't escape Damn, too late No more patriotism action with military state-supported blankets draped over the masses faces Raping the course of a nation that always negates to taste the bate before it's taken Now more wars are waging, we're headed to the end of days It's a-ok, though, as long as we're fed and entertained The center stage is set to take affect with break-neck speed It's a safe bet for us to memorize the apex creed Wait, let's breathe Stay set free But it's a train wreck that's set to detonate before impact and after again for good measure Whether pleasure or necessity or both, rendering the folks poisoned and zombified Tethered to full surrender Fooled by the never-enders with the clever street magician swagger Hidden, vicious badger stamina Secret submission masters Peaceful existence shattered, scattered as a trash heap Battles push max reach while war drums perform blast beats In forms of clapping heat Disasterpieces sculpted with massive consumption Fattening the gullets of masters of puppets seated at the pulpit on the summit Engulfing the public It's dumb because I love it and hate it Plus stuck in its ways Oh, what an arrangement Such fun and games mixed with estrangement The future seems vacant I used to chase it Soon I'll use it to escape Making beautiful mistakes is necessary in the race for placement Blue in the face replaced with subtle grooming of the fates Some movement could erase the crucial state but who's to say? Maybe gloomy days are just the result of a soothing, looming haze produced to glaze the gazes of this rabid pack of meat sacks We ask to be untapped from it This habitat's a mean trap Relax or relapse or fight the cruel colors Sing the red meat, red blood red white and blues, brother Seeking some new cover safer from the mothership Custom fit grip on self to skate and jump up from the grid We stumbled into a sunken ship Clutching utter bliss tightly in a fuddled grip A couple mits holding tools and devices used to spy and soon to snipe us Wipe us from the globe The human crisis
10.
Push the wires aside and step outside The skies are breathing life The trees recite a hushed lullaby To nullify the jumbled mind divide Under divine beauty and peace Release from things that keep us creased Unfold the crane and fly Eden is within Breathe in the 'everything-connection' we forget Before rest See we can sing and pretend but at the symphony's end there's no da capo to send us back We write our compositions with specifics In love or indifference Under the bride a river washes the slate but not the ink from the page So I'm drifting away Instead of sinking in grains of sand Take hands with rain dance phantoms and stand among creation, not above it Entranced and enhanced Pull the plug from my skull and proceed through the wreckage We must disconnect to achieve true connection Seeking serene surroundings Seeking serene surroundings of silence Before I'm silenced
11.
We are animals We must bomb our friends
12.
Paper Angel 04:52
Final moments forging elegy Essence engraved in parting strokes Wingspan unfold No margin can hold She flies beyond the creases and edges she rests in Sharing the simple string of words that she was left with Breathless Chest ceased to rise on the flower-dressed furniture We cry Powerless to the learning curve I heard the early bird news on the front stoop Mom's house Dad's words Numb to the truth Put my tongue in a noose Struggle to produce a whisper even Grieving on a spring day that feels like the winter season Bitter breeze split the trees and hit my cheeks like vicious kisses wistfully ripping me from my inseams in mystery A 21 gun symphony given she up on St. Mary's hill The wind faint Very still A chill filling the mausoleum with lack The second of siblings lost in a week Unfair the clarity tearing at Mary To carry the cross of seeing them pass But she is relaxed when people around almost reach a collapse Now she has the feverish task of having to see both her children sleep in the ash It's grief and glee for the past Fear and hope for the next And every moment's inches closer to death But every moment is blessed Every moment is fresh Every moment, ingest Every moment, invest The only thing left was goodbye but I shaded my eyes It's just something that I couldn't take in at the time But I regret it Oh, I regret not stepping into that room I let the fear consume me Then spoon-feed gloom and grief And as the tune proceeds just days later we put Puka to sleep I used to believe that neither would ever leave 'Cause everything would change but be the same indefinitely But inevitably the end will be seen again and again until it's reached The pendulum cease I try to tend to the sheep deep in my head but I keep keeping a seasoned wool vizor over my eyes instead When it's time for bed, let my mind be steadfast Before it's wiped clean like wet naps Surviving the set backs till black sets in to what once was vision disintegrated Simple vindication of our living nature We've given favor to the thoughts of immortality Enslaved by the tainted flavor Caught up within a fallacy Shimmy the balance beam gradually and gather speed accordingly The path you seek is yours A different course is just a masterpiece of forgery Fashion your story with passion and glory but make it your own Never take shape with the clones Sometimes we face things alone Sometimes with help from our fellow beings 'Cause selfless deeds exist but still we've gotta give some elbow grease Remember to eat our healthy greens and leave the red meat Forever's bed Extended rest I hope we sleep on fresh sheets My paper angel, sketched so freely, speaks a phrase to keep me sane on bleaker days "Everything will be ok"
13.
Sometime the sun shines, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes we climb, but then sometimes we plummet.

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Thank you...yes you, silly

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released July 4, 2012

2012 Utopiugly Productions
Written, Produced, Recorded & Mixed by Errol Hem unless otherwise noted

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Errol Hem East Moline, Illinois

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